Do you know yourself?

INTRO

I haven't written for the public eye in quite some time. I do write for myself here and there, but it's been a while since I really shared anything. I don't know how frequent these will be or if there will even be another post. We are surrounded by lies and a lack of truth daily. I thought some honesty might be good for a change. These are my flaws, my weaknesses, and my strengths. This is a lot of what makes me, me. I have a lot to work on, as I think we all do, whether we admit or not to ourselves. I'm not looking for encouragement or sympathy or really comments of any kind. I'm just sharing. Maybe some of you can connect with these things. Maybe you can't. Doesn't matter. If you've read it, cool. Maybe you learned something about me or got to know me a little better. If you don't, I won't hold it against it you.

I can be an asshole, but I’m not an asshole. 

I’m quick to anger. 

I’m sometimes rash. 

I like to meet new people, but I dislike most people. 

I’m inwardly and ultimately positive, but outwardly cynical. 

I tend to state what other people think. I keep it real. Sometimes too real. 

I’m accused of being difficult and argumentative. Side note. Do you know what happens when you try to state your own claim and reasons on why you’re not difficult and argumentative? You’re even more difficult and argumentative. 

I probably drink too much and too often like a lot of people my age. My tolerance is fairly good, but I will occasionally have a ‘white girl at the party’ experience at the party.

I don’t like large parties. I prefer get-togethers.

I don’t like most bars. My ideal bar would consist of live music that is tolerable and maybe even enjoyable if I'm lucky, but not so overwhelming that I can’t talk or hear myself think. 

I like animals better than most people. Sometimes people surprise you, but more often than not, they disappoint you. 

I’m honest to a fault. If I don’t initially like you, prove me wrong. And this does happen from time to time. 

I’m loyal beyond question and usually true to my word. 

I have a strong sense of justice, and what is right and wrong. 

I like to be challenged. And need to be. 

I’m more sensitive than I typically outwardly appear. 

I’m a hopeless romantic. 

I believe in love. 

I believe in ‘Hollywood romanticism’, but have yet to see it happen. 

I believe that if two people are meant to be together, it will happen one way or another. Fight it as long as you can. It won't matter in the long run. 

I’m healthy and exercise often and believe in the fundamental importance of exercise. 

I push too much. If you tell me you want to achieve something, I make it my goal to help you. It’s easier for me to help you and avoid ambition of my own. 

I hold back feelings until I think they are reciprocated. 

My family is important to me. I’m not always my best around them. 

My friends are important to me. 

I try to keep in touch with people. 

I rarely act as I should. 

I believe that everything happens for a reason. 

I’m slowly moving forward, but I’m moving forward. 

I have almost never felt any kind of permanence in both situations and places. When I have, I’ve been wrong. 

I make mistakes constantly. 

I don’t really think as highly of myself as I may act. 

Sometimes my lack of confidence is clouded by over-confidence. 

I generally know what I'm capable of. It's not cockiness. 

I hate not being in control. I feel helpless. 

If someone needs me, I will generally be there.

I want to be a better man. 

I don’t know where I’m going. 

I have a hard time letting go. I'm determined and do not give up. If I believe in something, I will keep fighting. 

I'm indecisive. 

I can change. 

There are some things I love about myself. There are other things I despise. 

I'm still learning about myself. 

I'm rarely truly happy and when I am, it seems fleeting.

I connect more with depressing music. Not because I'm depressed, just because I feel like its more genuine, and I can relate to the emotions.

I am skilled in many areas and master at none. 

I can adapt to most situations. 

I can express myself better on paper than I can in person.